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这个小品把政治正确的荒谬展现得淋漓尽致 ：KINNE TONIGHT - SAY CHEESE
习羊羊与灰战狼
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2020年10月26日
稍有常识的懒羊羊
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习羊羊与灰战狼 稍有常识的懒羊羊 台词：
-Gonna get him. Oh wait on, I'll just get this guy.
-找他去。哦，等等，我直接找这人就行了。
-Um excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of us?
-啊，打扰一下，请问能帮忙给我们拍张合照吗？
-Yeah, no problem!
-好啊，没问题啊！
-Thank you.
-谢谢。
-Okay! Everybody say "cheese!"
-好！一齐说：“cheese！”
-Oh I'm actually--I'm a vegan. Could you please have us say something else?
-哦，稍等一下--其实我是个素食主义者。请问能换个东西说吗？
-Okay, everybody say... "tofu".
-行，一齐说...“豆腐”。
-Tofu is not actually as good for you as vegan, see, any hospital will tell you that it's bad for your testosterone levels.
-对于素食主义者来说豆腐其实不怎么样，你看，随便一家医院都会告诉你它对你的睾丸激素水平有害。
-Okay I'm sorry, how about we all just smile?
-好我错了，那大家笑一笑？
-Oh, one more asshole asks me to smile!
-啊，又有一个傻逼叫我笑一笑！
-Not really an asshole, takin' a photo for you, so...
-傻逼还算不上，搁这给你们拍照呢，所以...
-What is it to smile about anyway?
-所以到底什么令人发笑的么？
-O...kay...would you want me to just count backwards from three?
-这...行...不如这样，我从三倒数，行不？
-Oh! Would you like dyslexic people to just not exist!
-哦！你当阅读困难群体不存在是不是！
-My cousin has dyslexia, so, offended.
-我表亲有阅读困难症，所以...冒犯到我了。
-Adopted. Don't even know who my cousins are, so more offended.
-领养的。我根本不知道我表亲是谁，所以你更加冒犯到我了。
-How about this: we all put a word we are comfortable with in our heads, and I'll get this shot.
-不如这样：我们各人脑子里想一个自己舒服的词，然后我来拍张照。
-No, it doesn't sound very inclusive thought does it? I suppose you'd like us all to stand a few meters apart with you stalling?
-不，这个听着似乎不怎么包容啊？你是不是想让我们每人之间隔着几米站开，然后你在这等着啊？
-Jesus Christ.
-上帝啊。
-Oh I don't see what religion has to do with this?
-哦宗教跟这有任何关系么？
-Well, I'm an atheist, so, majorly triggered.
-那个，我是无神论者，所以，你侵犯到我了。
-Is that a comment on the gun debate? Huh, still trying to control people.
-这是在评价枪支辩论吗？哈，还想着要控制人民呢。
-But it's not just the people, has anyone thought about the animals?
-不只是人民，有人关心过动物的感受么？
-Look, this is what we're gonna do, everybody throw up a peace sign, and I'll take your photo.
-行，这样，大家一起比个和平手势，然后我给你们拍照。
-Wow. Cultural appropriation is alive and well. Why don't you just ask us to say Kung Fu?
-哇哦。文化挪用真是做得很棒棒呢。你咋不直接叫我们说“功夫”呢？
-Guess what? New plan, group selfie, ready, set, go. Boom, and... looks awesome, you're gonna love it.
-你猜我要干嘛？新计划，合影，预备，准备好，走起。pia，然后...不错，你会喜欢的。
-Oh, you took it with the front camera you stupid cyclist dick!
-哦，你怎么用前摄像头拍啊你这个臭傻逼骑手！
评论区上的这两个评论说得非常好：
“This would be more funny if it were not painfully reflective of life in 2019. Everyone is offended, everyone is oppressed, everyone is a victim.”
“这本来应该挺搞笑的，然而它展现出来的完全就是现实中的2019。人人都被冒犯了，人人都被压迫了，人人都是受害者。”
“I'm not laughing because this is reality now”
“我笑不出来，因为这压根就是现实。”
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