Ten years ago, in xxx, about this time of year, I discovered that my elderly mother was in crisis. My mother, xxx, was living alone in a condo in xxx, Florida, and at about age xx she was being victimized by financial scammers. They had stolen/scammed her out of almost every penny she had. This was when I learned for the first time she had Alzheimers. I was talking to my mom on the phone one day, and something was very weird. I shared this news with my wife, xxx, and we agreed something serious was going on. We decided to jump in the car, drive three days straight from Illinois to Florida, and go see my mother unannounced. I had the key to her condo, but when we arrived we rang the doorbell. Mom came to the door, and was very surprised to see us. We were let in, and that was when we saw a horrific scene. (I won't go into details.) While we were there, within one day the scammers were calling Mom on the phone seventeen times!!!! She was too kind to unplug the phone. Very old school, she said it was impolite to hang up on people. The phone company was no help in blocking the incoming calls. I needed to go online and buy a special device to block all calls from an entire area code! (The scammers’ calls all came from Jamaica; Mom had no real connections to Jamaica.) (The company with the device was "Digitone" and their device was a godsend.) Only after it was installed did I succeed in restoring peace and quiet in the home.
Suffice to say, it was shocking to discover how much Mom's living situation had deteriorated. And how quickly it had occurred.
Thus ensued a month long effort to get Mom to doctors and to figure out what to do. A police report regarding the scammers was filed, but the police did nothing. They told me their department alone had approximately 300 of these cases currently.
It was clear Mom could no longer live by herself. xxx and I pleaded with Mom to come home with us, to Illinois, to live out her days among loved ones, people who really cared about her. At first, she didn't want to come with us, but slowly she came around. Weeks into this storm, Mom finally relented. With a formal diagnosis of Alzheimers in hand, and with manifest evidence that she could no longer live independently in Florida, it was at the last moment too, because I was at the point of having no choice but to go to court to obtain legal guardianship over her person.
With her consent, the activity shifted. We rented a UHaul trailer, packed all her things we could take, and departed for Illinois. The first stage of the crisis was over, and our rescue of Mom was now well underway. Our ride home was slow but pleasant. When we arrived back in xxx, IL we gave Mom a nice room in our house and began the process of taking care of her and integrating her into our daily lives. The process went well. Mom got new doctors, and they took good care of her. The condo back in Florida was lost to foreclosure, however.
Mom lived for about three more years. She had a few falls, including one time when she broke her hip in the bathroom and had to go to the hospital and then to a skilled nursing community for rehab. Over time her Alzheimer's continued to unfold. She and xxx, my wife, developed a truly loving relationship. Mom had several stints at skilled nursing communities due to falls. After her last fall, she could not come back to our home so she needed to stay at a skilled nursing community. During this time, we also needed to move from one home and relocate to another home (the one we live in now). Mom's heart began to fail, and in time, at the skilled nursing community, she passed away at age xx. xxx and I were at her bedside and we witnessed the moment when Mom took her last breath. In the end, Mom was happy and ready to go. When she died, she knew she was loved. Our family is thankful for the final three years we were able to give my mother. Everyone in the family, including our young daughter, rose to the situation.
This photo is when our family gathered for a good-bye dinner with wife's relatives who live nearby in Florida. It was a loving good-bye. Mom is the lovely lady in the dark blue dress on the left side of the photo. Wife's mom, xxx, is sitting next to my Mom, to her left. wife's mom has now passed as well.
