倡议弘扬激进的透明性文化，拒绝suger coating

我喜欢直白的用法， shit coating可以 鄙人没读几年书，说话有点粗鲁

瑶瑶很可爱

@中野梓 #102803 严禁sugar coating

站长必须死

我倒不这么看，在具体用词上面，中国人发明了很多把坏事变成好事的说法。这大概就是所谓sugar coating的本意，但这并不意味着需要提倡说话直来直去。

实际上，中国人说话远没有西方人委婉。全世界说话最委婉的大概是日本人，接下来是英国人，欧洲人，美国人等等。中国人说话的直接程度，大概是高于世界平均水平吧。

@rebecca #102823 实际上那些错误执行者，他也是有一本账的，这个账是记在那儿的。一旦他出事了，这个账全给你拉出来了。别看你今天闹得欢，小心今后拉清单，这都得应验的。不要干这种事情。头上三尺有神明，一定要有敬畏之心。

@Ambulance #102824

中国人发明了很多把坏事变成好事的说法

不僅僅是說法，還有喪事喜辦的做法。

suger coating演示：

魔怔人 双簧 大师 诛心 纏鬥 太上皇 小号海 女仆装 正義人士 女子高生 真诚用户 迫真表演 老朋友 小字报 心灵建全 失意政客 情緒發洩 PUA 捉鬼 大清洗 麦卡锡主义 安全因素 恐怖分子 必意四 东林党人 PTSD 先哭为敬 上访 嘿阔 碰瓷 网军 自由心证 幻想朋友

@愛牛奶盒的人 #102832 瑶瑶拒绝了我 -> 瑶瑶说我是个好人

@Ambulance #102841

太真實了，難道我要說，你不是好人嗎？

@愛牛奶盒的人 #102847 好不好人无从判断，喜不喜欢立刻就能出决议。所以“你是个好人”是sugar coating,“我不喜欢你”是直白，"我们还是做朋友吧“看情况而定。

@Ambulance #102824 中国人说话和日本类似，非常看context，但是日本的context更加固化，比如一个暴发户面对一个老贵族，说话仍然是谦卑的。中国的话，昨天他买彩票中了五百万今天他就敢横着走。所以中国的“直白”很大程度上是“我没必要向你掩饰我对你的厌恶，因为你不配”。

复读我的另一个帖子：

在这里看到一篇很有意思的短文：Tact Filters（外交辞令过滤器）。文中附注里提到与其说 nerd，更准确的用词是 geek，因此我亦译为“极客”。

I came up with this idea several years ago in a conversation with a friend at MIT, who was regularly finding herself upset by other people who worked in her lab. The analogy worked so well in helping her to understand her co-workers that I decided to write it up and put it on the web. I've gotten quite a few email messages since then from other people who have also found it helpful.

几年前，我在与麻省理工学院的一个朋友交谈中有了这个想法，她发现自己常被同一实验室的同事冒犯到。这种类比在帮助她了解同事方面非常有效，我决定将其编写并发布到网络上。从那以后，我已经收到很多来自其他人的电子邮件，这些人也发现它很有帮助。

All people have a "tact filter", which applies tact in one direction to everything that passes through it. Most "normal people" have the tact filter positioned to apply tact in the outgoing direction. Thus whatever normal people say gets the appropriate amount of tact applied to it before they say it. This is because when they were growing up, their parents continually drilled into their heads statements like, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"

所有人都有一个“外交辞令过滤器”，单方向过滤所有通过它的言论。大多数“正常人”将过滤器应用于自己说出的言论。无论正常人说什么，在他们说之前，都会应用适量的“外交辞令”。这是因为在他们成长过程中，父母不断灌输例如这样的观念：“如果你说话不友善，就什么也不要说！”

"Nerds," on the other hand, have their tact filter positioned to apply tact in the incoming direction. Thus, whatever anyone says to them gets the appropriate amount of tact added when they hear it. This is because when nerds were growing up, they continually got picked on, and their parents continually drilled into their heads statements like, "They're just saying those mean things because they're jealous. They don't really mean it."

另一方面，极客（geek）则将过滤器应用于听到的言论。因此，任何人对他们说的话，都会在他们听到的时候加入适量的外交辞令。这是因为在极客的成长过程中，他们常受人讥笑，父母会不断灌输例如这样的观念：“他们说那些不友善的话只是因为嫉妒，不要当真。”

When normal people talk to each other, both people usually apply the appropriate amount of tact to everything they say, and no one's feelings get hurt. When nerds talk to each other, both people usually apply the appropriate amount of tact to everything they hear, and no one's feelings get hurt. However, when normal people talk to nerds, the nerds often get frustrated because the normal people seem to be dodging the real issues and not saying what they really mean. Worse yet, when nerds talk to normal people, the normal people's feelings often get hurt because the nerds don't apply tact, assuming the normal person will take their blunt statements and apply whatever tact is necessary.

当正常人彼此交谈时，两个人通常都会对他们说的话加入适量的外交辞令，于是没有人的感情受到伤害。而当极客彼此交谈时，两个人通常都会在听到的所有内容上加入适量的外交辞令，于是也没有人的感觉受到伤害。但是，当正常人与极客交谈时，极客常常会感到沮丧，因为正常人似乎在躲避真正的问题，而不是说出他们的真正意思。更糟糕的是，当极客与正常人交谈时，正常人的感情经常会受到伤害，因为极客说话时不会多加外交辞令，而会假设正常人将他们毫无遮拦的话在听到时加入必要的外交辞令。

So, nerds need to understand that normal people have to apply tact to everything they say; they become really uncomfortable if they can't do this. Normal people need to understand that despite the fact that nerds are usually tactless, things they say are almost never meant personally and shouldn't be taken that way. Both types of people need to be extra patient when dealing with someone whose tact filter is backwards relative to their own.

因此，极客需要了解，正常人必须对他们所说的一切都运用外交辞令；不这样做会使他们感到不适。而正常人需要了解，尽管极客常说话不客气，他们所说的话几乎都不是意在攻击人身，也不应该被这样理解。在与一个外交辞令过滤器方向与自己相反的人打交道时，两种人都需要格外耐心。

我今天很感性——我认为这种说法没有问题，感性与理性一样，是一个中性词，形容的是人类对于某事物产生直接感觉与情绪的能力。否认感性的价值（例如对人类常态相处和交流的价值）、认为感性只是糊涂的sugar coating，犹如否定感情的价值、认为人类的所有感情都是性冲动的掩饰那样，都是不准确的。

我今天很性感——问题在于“性感”这种评价是主观的，别人未必觉得我性感；所以准确来说是，“我觉得自己今天很性感。”

你说的话我不作置评 你放屁——透明不等于不礼貌。可以说：我不同意你说的话/我反对你说的话/你说的话有问题，等等。